Hi Everyone!

Mrs. Claus just told me another Christmas joke. This one goes like this: How do sheep in Mexico say "Merry Christmas"?

...Give up?

Fleece Navidad!

Ho, ho, ho! I love those corny jokes!

Lots going on around here! With less than a month before the Big Day, things are humming at the Toy Factory. Yesterday I took a walk-through, and it was incredible: room after room of machines and elves cranking out toys of every kind! Dolls and toy trucks and games and books and cool clothes and stuffed animals and sleds and telescopes and Rubik's Cubes and video games and watches and slinkys and harmonicas and bicycles and...it always feels like the place goes on forever!

Stan Levertink, the elf who runs the plant (we call him "Gizmo") explained that this year for the first time he's using a device called a Match-O-Matic®, which more efficiently connects items on a child's Christmas list to the inventory here at the factory. I didn't really understand it -- the Match-O-Matic® seems to be something like an automatic text reader crossed with a GPS.

Gizmo said the Match-O-Matic® works with all kinds of lists -- email, written, even verbal, in every language, so kids who can write aren't at any advantage over kids who can't yet. Basically, if a particular boy or girl wants, say, a Wii or a basketball, the MOM® automatically builds (or makes) one and reserves it...automatically! It's a pretty cool device!

I'm thinking about using the MOM® to find my keys when they disappear.

What else is happening? The reindeer have started Swim Training, I haven't forgotten about Blitzen's candy problem, and Thessaly Tinselcom is still trying to figure out the broken Present Compressor (yesterday: a dog dish into a swimming pool). Tomorrow, Mrs. Claus and I are taking a quick sleigh-ride down to Candy Cane Ranch, where the canes are now a perfect size for hanging on trees and inside stockings!

I'll give you a full report when we get back.

Love,

Santa

o<|:^D

Hi Everyone,

Santa here, feeling preoccupied with everything that's going on. We're heading straight into Christmas now, and my brain is full.

But first, before I forget, Thanksgiving was a delight! I ran the kitchen, and Mrs. Claus set everything up for the feast. We had guests from all over the Arctic, plus parent-reindeers and a hilarious Talent Show hosted by the elves. The best moment in it was when Snoop Puppy Dogg, the chief gift-wrapper, did a spectacular break dance with Coach Bryan. Picture it -- a foot-tall elf spinning and flipping and moonwalking with a 1,000-pound polar bear! Bill, our exchange student, laughed so hard he spit mashed potatoes out his beak!

I wish the whole week could have been that much fun. On Tuesday, someone sneaked Coach Bryan an anonymous note informing him that Blitzen has explicitly broken one of the central rules of Reindeer Training: he's been hoarding -- and EATING, of course -- Halloween candy in his stall. I asked the animal keeper, Rufus, to investigate, and sure enough, he found a cache of M&M's, SweetTarts, and Butterfingers hidden under the straw.

Coach Bryan and I had a meeting about it, and we had a long talk with Blitzen, who apologized, of course, but we're not sure yet what to do to get him back in integrity with the other reindeer. Blitzen is our varsity leader, and needs to set a good example; if *he* can cheat, his teammates will figure that cheating is okay!

I feel sad because I love Blitzen, but he needs to follow the rules like everybody else. He should be MORE of a leader than one who sneaks around. I'm not sure what to do. I AM impressed by the other deers, however: Cupid in particular has been working incredibly hard and showed the highest improvement of anyone in her Flight Performance times. We'll see what happens.

Adding to my worries is the fact that the Present Compressor remains on the fritz! (This morning it turned a toy plane into a 747.) I tell you, when it snows, it blizzards around here! I think Mrs. Claus and I need to take a trip down to Candy Cane Ranch, get away from it all for an afternoon and recharge our jolly juju. Hope we can swing it soon.

Okay, I'm off to grab a little leftover stuffing and get back to work. I have a million letters to read!

Love,

Santa

Hello Everyone!

Santa here. I've been so preoccupied with Thanksgiving, and the broken Present Compressor, that I've forgotten to tell you the great news: We have a guest for the holidays! He's an exchange student from (literally) the other side of the world -- a penguin! His name is William Beakman, III., but he's asked us just to call him Bill.

Bill comes from Antarctica and is an excellent swimmer. He's two feet tall, and partly because of this, has already made close friends with the elves, whom he's staying with in the elf dorms. He'll be with us through Christmas. Mrs. Claus and I almost forgot he was coming!

Bill caused quite a stir when he arrived last week, because he'd brought a suitcase full of krill -- tiny, shrimp-like creatures that are evidently some sort of penguin delicacy. I think he was hoping to share them with everyone as a goodwill gesture, but after the week-long journey to get up here (long story: his plane broke down in Miami) the krill had basically turned into a terrible-smelling mess.

That didn't bother Bill, at first, but when he presented them to the elves, they were pretty shocked, and a couple almost got sick! Everybody knows elves eat candy and peanut butter and macaroni and cheese! Bill seemed sad that his gift was received so badly, but his gesture wasn't forgotten -- later the elves made him a Welcome cake filled with sardines. He seemed very touched and ate most of it in one sitting.

It'll be wonderful to have Bill here for Thanksgiving, and great to have his help around the North Pole as we head into Christmas. I think Coach Bryan is planning ask him to assist the reindeer with the swimming part of their training, which starts pretty soon.

Regardless, we're all happy to have Bill here with us. Thanksgiving should be spectacular this year, with guests from all over the Arctic and enough food to fatten everyone for the coming month! Mrs. Claus even said she's going to make a special krill pâté for Bill. Maybe I'll try some myself!

(Maybe not.)

Happy Thanksgiving! Talk to you in a couple of days.

Love,

Santa

Hello Everyone,

Santa here, and I have a problem on my hands. A BIG problem.

Yesterday I got a call from Thessaly Tinselcom, the elf who runs the research and development lab. Thessaly said she was noticing some glitches with the software that runs the Present Compressor, which is a magical tool that (just like it sounds) squeezes the millions of toys and presents I carry into my bag on Christmas Eve. She asked me to stop by.

Well, it turns out the "glitches" were far more serious than she had indicated. Turns out the whole Present Compressor program is haywire, and rather than shrinking presents, it EXPANDS them, which means a matchbox-sized toy car turns into a full-sized one, and a three-inch tall refrigerator for a dollhouse (and even the house itself!) inflates into the REAL THING. Toy pony, REAL pony. Toy fire engine, REAL fire engine. You get the idea.

An additional part of the problem these days is that everything seems to come ridiculously overpackaged with extra cardboard and plastic, so even the simplest gift -- an ink cartridge for a PC printer, say -- requires about four times as much space as it used to. It's crazy. That's why I've relied more and more on the Compressor, and now it appears the Compressor is on the blink.

Without it, I can't do my job, and if I can't do my job -- well everybody knows what THAT means.

I'm genuinely flummoxed with this one. Thessaly is brilliant, and I trust her to come up with a solution between now and Christmas Eve, less than a month away. But still, I'm worried; I had a similar problem two or three hundred years ago, and we didn't fix it until December 23. I think I lost about 100 pounds that year from worry, and I don't feel like going through that again.

Speaking of which, I'm trying to distract myself by remembering that Thanksgiving is just a few days away. It's gonna be a great one this year, with lots of reindeer parents and dignitaries coming from all over the Arctic, and the elves' talent show is coming together smoothly, from what I hear.

I hope the Compressor is fixed long before then!

Love,

Santa

Hi Everybody!

Santa here, with a weather update from the North Pole: It's snowing! Sure, I know that may not sound like big news, but around here we're glad to have it. Global warming is affecting the North Pole, too, and in my memories of many, many, many Christmases, things definitely feel like they're getting warmer.

Today the temperature climbed to a balmy 12 degrees and it snowed all day. I took a break after lunch to read some letters (they're starting to trickle in!), and afterwards stepped outside on the porch to catch a few snowflakes on my tongue.

It got me thinking. I've seen snowflakes under a microscope (having plenty of access to both snow and microscopes -- I'm Santa after all!) and can verify the rumor that no two flakes are exactly the same. Depending on where you live and what kind of snow you have, snowflakes can be either columnar, like tubes, or hexagonal, like a six-pointed star. (Now you know why our dog is named Hexagon!) But no matter how long you look, you won't find any two alike.

It's the same with Christmases: I've seen hundreds of them by now, and every year each one is different. One year everyone will be crazy for some electronic gizmo; the next year: Chia Pets. Sometimes folks are hunkered down for the holidays; sometimes they're flying around like geese. Music changes, toys change, fashions change, trends come and go. What lasts, though, is the good feeling and delight of Christmas -- the good cheer that the old Christmas carols were written about.

It's also the same with children. I've met and talked to and gotten letters from millions of kids, and if you asked me to describe children in general, I couldn't begin to do it. Each one is unique. You could say they're like snowflakes, and the one thing I've learned is that they melt out of childhood nearly as fast. That's why I do this job, to give them a chance to enjoy every second of it.

Okay, gotta go find an elf who's not too busy to shovel my steps! More soon.

Love,

Santa

Hello!

Well, November is finally here, and things are really starting to fly -- especially the reindeer! The elves have helped their coach, Bear Bryan, set up this year's training course for the eight of them, plus Rudolph, in which they improve their skills. They're getting back in shape by swimming, running, and flying. It's like a triathlon for caribou!

Christmas Eve, most of what's needed is flying, of course, so we've set up a three-dimensional course where the reindeer practice by themselves, to build their stamina and dexterity, and as a team, to build teamwork. It's sort of a combination of Quidditch, rodeo barrel riding, and airplane stunt flying. The elves have tied six big balloons on long ropes in a high/low pattern along a quarter-mile, and each deer has to fly around all of them in order and return to the starting place, trying to beat the best time set.

It's delightful to watch them practice from my office window, brown bodies hurtling up and down across the sky, looping around the balloons in a sort of reindeer ballet. I've noticed that some of the old guard are a little out of shape this year (Ahem! Rudolph and Blitzen!) and that some of the younger ones are looking great.

There was a great moment the other afternoon when Prancer executed a turn too tightly and popped a balloon with his antler -- kaBOOM! -- which startled him so much he did aerial somersaults across the sky!

The reindeer have a new diet, too: strictly high-protein, low-fat, vegetarian diets (leaves and grass and lichens) because from now till Christmas they need to be in top-flight condition. Literally!

I love this time of year, with Halloween just past and Thanksgiving on the way, and yet I'm always reminded that the next two months can be very stressful for parents and kids and families. This year, I beg you to remember that Christmas (or Hanukkah, or whatever holidays you're celebrating) are really about the delight of getting together with friends and family, about being thankful for everything and everyone you've got.

My advice is to let the worries go -- let them tumble away like Prancer across the late afternoon sky.

More soon.

Love,

Santa